No Boundaries, No Limits

Just who is the victim here?

The previous post

Erasing Mothers = Erasing Relationships

 discussed what happens when dehumanising language is used when discussing birth and breastfeeding. The artificial separation of embodied physiological processes by a political ideology erases women and mothers and ignores babies altogether.

In addition to the erasure of women and mothers from the breastfeeding discourse through the use of inaccurate language, the hazards discussed in this post will centre on the second point from the previous post: Necessary safeguarding is abandoned and people are subjected to harm.

But really, it’s not “people” who are subjected to harm, it’s women and children. Because breastfeeding support is only needed by women and children, irrespective of gender identification. And those who can’t breastfeed are not “victims” of those who can see that inclusivity is not warranted in every situation.

One of the most pernicious ways that language changes affect women is that by allowing natal males into women’s spaces, we have sacrificed the safety of women for the desires of a selfish population of men who seek to cross appropriate boundaries of women legally. One place where this is evident is in single sex spaces.

Why do we need single sex spaces any more? 

Single sex facilities were created so that women could participate in public life just as men do. The “urinary leash” was a term that explained why, before the advent of public toilets for women, their participation was restricted to the the time and the distance they could manage without needing to urinate. 100 Women: How the 'urinary leash' keeps women at home - BBC News I mean, if you can’t find anywhere to pee when you’re not home, you don’t plan to do much away from home.

Gradually over the last 100 years or so, the recognition that women have different needs than men and require separate accommodations have meant that other spaces and activities have been created so that women can fully participate in adult activities and in public life. Below is a partial list of what most people expect to find in a modern society in addition to sex segregated public toilets:

Women’s refuges

Women’s prisons

Changing rooms (pools, gyms, etc.)

Sports competitions

Women created categories that give prizes or awards

Public swimming pool sessions

Health support groups (endometriosis, menopause, miscarriage, etc.)

Breastfeeding support groups

Single sex schools

Dorm rooms

Overnight camps for school/Girl Scouts or Guides, etc.

Most of these are beyond the scope of this post. I’m going to focus on what happens when you open up breastfeeding support to “everyone” and as with my previous post, think that thought through to the end.

Women’s spaces, once a given in our world, have become infiltrated by men who should not be allowed in. This is the result of those who are “woke” (woke being defined here as a virtue signaling social justice warrior who finds prioritising feelings over facts appealing) demanding everyone be “kind”. Being “kind” is a woke code word for letting men do what they want to women, while at the same time turning men into “victims” if women fight back against this incursion. Haven’t we been fighting this incursion for hundreds of years? One of the most glaring examples of this has occurred in the once safe space of breastfeeding support.

What happens when breastfeeding groups are ‘captured by woke’?

La Leche League International (LLLI), which bills itself as “the world's foremost authority on breastfeeding” recently changed its Statement of Commitment that all Leaders (mothers who have a breastfeeding history and further training to become peer supporters) must sign to continue on in their volunteer roles. It now reads:

I am personally committed to furthering the mission of LLL and to supporting breastfeeding as presented in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and other LLLI publications. I understand and agree that in using the designation “La Leche League Leader,” and in representing La Leche League, I will comply with the most recently published version of the La Leche League Policies and Standing Rules as posted on the LLLI website. I will resign from this position if for any reason I find that I can no longer represent La Leche League in accordance with this agreement, and I will discontinue use of the designation “La Leche League Leader.” PSR: Leader Statement of Commitment - La Leche League International (llli.org)

Looks pretty OK, doesn’t it? I mean, what’s not to like? But let’s have a deeper look at what Leaders are committing to. What policy makes this statement so controversial?

What about this one:

LLLI is committed to serving everyone inclusive of race, ethnicity, religion, sex, national origin, ancestry, age, marital status, physical or mental ability, socio-economic status, political views, gender identity, sexual orientation, family structure, or other protected status. Policies and Standing Rules - La Leche League International (llli.org)

Whoa, let’s back the truck up here! What’s that word in bold? Sex. Yes that designation that we have already established cannot conceive, gestate, birth or breastfeed a baby. So why would those of the men sex  need breastfeeding help? Whose baby are they planning on attempting to breastfeed and where is that baby’s mother?

These are all good questions that the LLLI Board have failed to answer when Leaders have written to them to register their distress over this.

Men are not born to breastfeed

Male lactation is not a thing. Just because a few men have taken hormone cocktails and have produced some fluid from their nipples, does not mean that men can or are breastfeeding. No man can recreate the physiological relationship that naturally develops between a mother and her baby. Babies are born ready to breastfeed and women who give birth are primed to lactate in response to the end of pregnancy and the birth of a baby and delivery of the placenta.

So men breastfeeding is actually medical experimentation on babies. Why has the LLLI Board written that more research into male lactation is needed? Beats me. Women’s health can actually improve through breastfeeding so where is the concern for the mothers who are missing out while some man plays at being a woman?

And is the Board unaware of the sexual fetish of lactophilia? Right from the start of this organisation in 1956, there have been documented instances of men contacting Leaders in the guise of ‘asking a question on behalf of my partner’ where it quickly becomes obvious that there is no baby here, but some man who likes to talk about breasts. When doing their training, Leader Applicants used to be warned about these men and given tools to deal with them, but now, how is a Leader supposed to separate out those who are not contacting them for legitimate reasons?

Recently on the LLL Leaders Facebook page, a Leader was complaining about some men who joined her online meeting and “took over” and another complaint was about a man who was masturbating on camera during the meeting she was leading. He turned out to be a member of a “toddler breastfeeding fetish” community.

LLL Leaders sometimes visit mothers’ homes to help them with breastfeeding. How is a Leader supposed to know that the ‘mother’ in question isn’t a woman, but a man who she is now alone with in his house?

So much for safeguarding Leaders or babies.

And what about other mothers? Having a baby is utterly life changing. Learning to breastfeed can be challenging and going to a LLL meeting may be the first time a new mother breastfeeds her baby ‘in public’. Many new mothers are not going to come back to a meeting that includes male bodied people when they are feeling so vulnerable. And women from some cultural or religious backgrounds will not be able to breastfeed in front of men who are unrelated to them.

So including “everyone” in breastfeeding support can actually exclude the very “people” who need help, who are all women.

This is not an anti-male post. I am lucky to know many wonderful men who understand the importance of keeping the social contract that keeps women in public safe. But as 98% of all sexual offenses are committed by men, single sex spaces for women were created to keep women safe because we are overwhelmingly the victims when predatory men decide to use their superior size and strength against women. And when men state they are now really women, their previous pattern of criminality does not change. Transgender women criminality shows male pattern | Fair Play For Women

Helping “trans dads” is (mostly) not the same as helping mothers

Leaders do not give advice; only information, support and encouragement which is based on their own breastfeeding experience. Some trans “men” (biological women) get pregnant and give birth. But as so called “top surgery” (the deliberate amputation of healthy breasts) is one of the most common “gender reassignment” surgery procedures, in the vast majority of cases, they need to formula feed their babies. Many factors go into successfully breastfeeding and the two most important are sufficient glandular tissue to make milk and a nipple for the baby to latch onto and suckle. Both of these are removed if you’ve had a double mastectomy.

Leaders are not health professionals, and situations beyond the normal course of breastfeeding are outside of the Leader’s expertise.  Leaders (as a group) are not qualified to be giving suggestions about formula use. This is a specialised area where babies can be harmed by feeding too much, too little or by mixing errors.

Only biological mothers who are breastfeeding (not pumping or formula feeding) can safely bed share at night with new and very young babies, and substituting “parent” for “mother” when discussing co-sleeping is confusing and potentially lethal.  Yet these practices are endorsed on LLL websites. If a baby dies because a Leader failed to clarify that newborns are only safe in bed with their breastfeeding mother, is the LLLI Board prepared to go to court to defend their position? The Safe Sleep Seven - La Leche League International (llli.org)

How can the LLLI Board indirectly support the mutilation of girls and young women by creating policies that undermine the truth about breastfeeding: only women with breasts can breastfeed. By promising to help trans “men” to breastfeed, they are giving false information to women considering an elective mastectomy.

How does mother-to-mother support fit into an ethos where women are encouraged to sacrifice their potential for the ability to have a baby and a normal adult sex life? How can LLL endorse surrogacy and donor breast milk; using other women's bodies and labor to replace what those embracing gender ideology for themselves have voluntarily forfeited? The Trouble with Surgery for Transgender-Identifying Minors | City Journal (city-journal.org)

Babies are people too

The breastfeeding relationship is the foundational relationship for humanity. The intimacy and trust that develops between a mother and her baby teaches babies how to navigate the world beyond the home. What babies learn at their mothers’ breasts lasts for the rest of their lives.

Additionally, babies are human beings with rights and their own agency. Men “breastfeeding” are using babies as props for their performance art lifestyles, not respecting a baby’s needs over their own desires. And many of the women who have engaged in self-mutilating behaviour grieve deeply when they realise the true consequences of having their healthy breasts removed at a time when the prospect of having children was nowhere on their radar. Gender Reassignment for Children: Cautionary Perspectives From Science (catholiceducation.org)

LLL cannot meet the needs of “everyone.” By trying to expand LLL’s reach using a one-size-fits-all approach, it meets the needs of no one.  There is nothing wrong with stating, “We help mothers, but if you aren't a mother, here’s where you can go to get support for feeding your baby.”

A victimhood mindset is an important part of the gender identity lifestyle. Claiming to always be a victim at the mercy of a prejudiced “cisgendered heteronormative” society is very useful tool to gain advantages you would not otherwise be entitled to.

So, what happens when you open up breastfeeding support to “everyone” and think that thought through to the end?

By eliminating single sex breastfeeding support, women  are excluded who for whatever reason, are not comfortable in the presence of men they don’t know. Never forget that women are always the sex that will need breastfeeding support as they are the only sex that can breastfeed. LLLI places volunteer breastfeeding peer supporters in a difficult position because they can no longer refuse to deal with approaches from men. There is no safeguarding for babies; they can become props for those seeking self gratification. The loss of the breastfeeding relationship causes harm for both babies and their mothers.

Prioritising the desires of adults over the needs of babies is not showing kindness, but complicity. I refuse to be complicit in following an ideology that is so damaging to so many.