Safeguarding

A guest post from Mothers for Mother

Mothers for Mother (MfM) was a website started by disaffected La Leche League Leaders who could see that the LLLI Board was literally killing this venerable organisation by its insistence on using “a variety of terms” in place of mother. For 65 years LLL Leaders have provided mother to mother breastfeeding support at no cost to the many thousands of women who contact them every year. LLL has literally changed the course of breastfeeding history, but is in grave danger of losing its credibility as Board members alter policies (largely without consultation) to include men and erase women.

It was necessary for Mothers for Mother to be totally anonymous as no public criticism of LLL is ever allowed by Leaders. Leaders who complain (even in private League Facebook pages) are promptly bullied by gender woo warriors and threatened with being disaccredited. In the beginning, when MfM had a comments section, every Leader who commented was sanctioned/booted off committees or otherwise punished for their ‘insubordination’. Some Leaders are still fighting for their right to remain a Leader while at the same time holding gender critical views (AKA believing in facts and biology).

Because of the level of secrecy required to operate MfM, this website was taken down by its creators. Reprinted with permission of the Mothers for Mother authors I am republishing a series of their posts as a form of archiving them for future readers who appreciate the sanity of those who believe in biological facts, over the thoughts of those who posit that nothing is more important than what they feel or believe about a made-up world of their choosing.

This was first published on March 1, 2022

Safeguarding

Parents understand the importance of safeguarding to protect someone from harm. Once babies become mobile and have the ability to move away from their parents, we safeguard them. No three-year-old should be allowed to cross the street by himself.

Mothers who have recently given birth also need safeguarding. Physically, they are recovering from childbirth, and having a newborn to care for increases a mother’s vulnerability. La Leche League meetings have long been a place where these women could learn how to breastfeed and talk freely about their experiences without feeling self-conscious about male attention.

However, LLL has implemented policies that shift the focus from mothers:

LLLI is committed to serving everyone inclusive of race, ethnicity, religion, sex, national origin, ancestry, age, marital status, physical or mental ability, socio-economic status, political views, gender identity, sexual orientation, family structure, or other protected status. (emphasis added)

-- LLLI PSR, Inclusivity Statement, May 2018

Who, exactly, is included in the “everyone” that LLL is now committed to serving?

- Fathers?

- Mothers-in-law?

- Anyone who “feels” like a woman?

LLL publications and educational materials now use de-sexed language, often referring to parents and breastfeeding families rather than mothers. LLL USA has even gone so far as to remove the words mother and breastfeeding from their mission statement:

LLL USA encourages, informs, educates, supports, and promotes the use of human milk and the intimate relationship and development that comes from nursing a child for as long as mutually desired.

--LLL USA Mission Statement

It can be confusing to everyone concerned if meetings and LLL support are advertised for parents or breastfeeding families. Mothers have no clue whether they are being offered a safe space reserved for women. Fathers—or even mothers-in-law—may be embarrassed if they mistakenly attend, thinking that THEIR very different needs will be addressed.

De-sexed language may feel "equal" to some, but the outcomes are anything but equal.

Serving “everyone” also means welcoming any male who “feels like a woman” into formerly exclusive women’s spaces. In the pursuit of so-called “inclusivity,” LLL has put its Leaders in a difficult position. They are being expected to support men to breastfeed. New mothers may feel extremely uncomfortable at the prospect of exposing their breasts while a man in a dress looks on. Even if one is only interacting online and not in-person, there is the hazard of encountering males who fetishize breastfeeding. The last thing a mother trying to learn to breastfeed needs is harassment and/or feeling threatened.

Breastfeeding involves an incredibly complex mechanism of hormones and physiology that women are prepared for via pregnancy and birth. This bears little resemblance to the attempts of men to "chestfeed" by taking a drug cocktail in the attempt to create male breastmilk. The few studies on such attempts have found that, even after compliance with a rigorous protocol, men are able to produce only several ounces of milk, and this is not sufficient to sustain a baby’s nutritional needs.

Male “breastfeeding” is a self-centered attempt to satisfy an adult's desire. It has nothing to do with the La Leche League mission to "help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support." This pursuit by males is often considered a sexual paraphilia by clinicians and may be desired by men identifying as women as “proof” of their “womanhood.”

Recent discussions on LLL social media have alerted Leaders to a male caller who calls or texts with inappropriate questions about breastfeeding. This is distressing for Leaders to have to deal with. With over 700 comments currently on the LLL Facebook page documenting a single caller, what is LLL doing to protect its Leaders from harassment?

Perhaps the caller harassing Leaders would have placed the calls regardless of LLL policy. However, when this sort of harassment occurred in the past, Leaders were confident in refusing to have any contact with anyone they suspected of being a male with an unhealthy interest in breastfeeding. Now, a Leader must ask herself whether she is allowed to distance herself from situations that are inconsistent with LLL philosophy, or will she be labeled a transphobe and threatened with disaccreditation for failing to serve “everyone”?

Not all Leaders offer home visits, but for those who do, an element of risk has been added. Has the LLLI Board considered the potential for liability if a Leader went to a home visit and, after entering, found not a mother in need of help, but a man who stated that he was a woman?

Even if a Leader confines herself to online contact, the proliferation of lactophilia websites and the fetishizing of breastfeeding and breast milk create new challenges for safeguarding. Males seeking breast milk or the opportunity to breastfeed, photos of breastfeeding children being downloaded by men who use them for pornographic purposes, and a myriad of lactation fetishes are just some of the evolving hazards that make the Leader’s role increasingly challenging to navigate safely.

Promoting de-sexed language has unintended consequences for Leaders who want to support mothers. Male bodies are not programmed for breastfeeding and it is unreasonable to suggest that they can. Additionally, Leaders may find themselves uncomfortable in providing counseling, either by phone, online, or in person to a man who identifies as a woman.

Every Leader is required to sign a Leader Statement of Commitment which states:

I am personally committed to furthering the mission of LLL and to supporting breastfeeding as presented in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and other LLLI publications. I understand and agree that in using the designation “La Leche League Leader,” and in representing La Leche League, I will comply with the La Leche League Policies and Standing Rules. I will resign from this position if for any reason I find that I can no longer represent La Leche League in accordance with this agreement, and I will discontinue use of the designation “La Leche League Leader.” (emphasis added)

Leaders now need to seriously consider whether they are comfortable having agreed to comply with policies that have been revised recently to include requiring them to help “everyone” with breastfeeding.

LLLI has a responsibility to have policies that safeguard Leaders, as well as the women seeking support, from unwanted male involvement and to maintain female-only spaces where needed.